Wednesday, March 2, 2016

{power in defeat}

We have been dealing with a season of illness here in the Milton house.  Nora was first, with a little cough, then I got sick with what seemed like a regular head cold.  Over the course of the first week, however, we both just kept getting worse and worse, ending up on antibiotics and doing little more than trying our best to make it through the day.  Let me tell you, being sick is one thing.  Being sick with a toddler is something totally different.  And still harder is being sick with a sick toddler.

These illnesses lasted for three full weeks, with residual effects lasting four.  And wouldn't you know, as soon as things started seeming to turn for the better, I got sick again.

Being sick has a way of affecting me emotionally.  It can be so easy to feel defeated, to feel useless in so many ways.  I'm behind on work, behind on housework, I haven't been cooking and I haven't had the energy to give our sweet Nora the attention she needs.  And the Enemy knows.

Too often, I hate to admit, I put my worth in these things - How well did I keep our house clean?  Did I have dinner ready every night for my family?  Did I engage completely with Nora today?  And when I can't check these things off, I feel like a failure.  Never mind any other good things I may have done.  If I can't check it all off, then I've failed.  But the truth is...none of these things define me.

I do not set aside the grace of God, for if righteousness could be gained through the law, Christ died for nothing! {Galatians 2:21}

Grace.  It's a concept I struggle with daily.  But this is the heart of the matter.  When I concern myself with trying to do everything right and refusing to accept help, then I have diminished the purpose for which Christ came.  The truth is, friends, none of us were meant to do this alone.  It's impossible.  

And perhaps that's exactly why God has allowed this continued season of illness in our house right now.  Perhaps this is a perfect opportunity for me to be humbled and remember the freedom that can come from realizing that I'm not superwoman.

I'm not sure where you are today in your heart, but if you're like me, if you're struggling with feelings of insufficiency or defeat, then join with me today in making the choice to stop being a victim.  Let's claim victory today, knowing that with Christ's sacrifice behind us, we have already won.  It's okay to accept help.  It's okay to admit that we can't do it all.  Take a moment to just rest in the comfort of grace that Christ has given us and make the choice to wake up tomorrow with a fighter's heart, remembering that your strength to keep going comes from the One who never grows weary.

My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. {Psalm 73:26}

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