{yada, yada, yada} {part II}

Welcome back {or just plain "welcome" if you just got here}.  In case you missed part I, go ahead and take a quick peep at it and then come on back.

In my last post, we were talking a little about what faith really is {and, I guess, what it isn't} and the difference between knowing of someone and actually knowing them.  So let's get back to it.

Think about your most intimate relationships--the ones where you can tell the other person absolutely anything and know that they won't judge you or hold it against you.  The ones where you can trust that the actions they take are in your best interest or trust that you can give them something to do and they will do it.

Now, tell me this--what is it about that person that lets you know you can trust them?  Because you are familiar with them?  Because you have spent time with them?  Because you have felt their love for you?  Because you have seen how they have treated you in your relationship in the past?

And tell me this--would you tell a person your deepest, darkest secret if you had only heard from a friend that they are trustworthy but had never actually spent any time with them?  Would you trust this person to decide how you should invest your life savings if you didn't have a personal relationship with them?

Probably not.  {And if you would, I have an ice cream cone worth a million dollars that I'd like to sell you.}   :)

So here's the thing--to be able to trust someone (that is, to put your faith in them wholeheartedly), you have to know them.  You have to have an intimate relationship with them in which you know their character - what would make them happy and what would hurt them, how they have handled difficult moments with you in the past, and more importantly, what they would give up in order to put your best interest first.  It's not enough to just know about them {head knowledge}.  You have to know them {heart knowledge}.  In my case, it's not enough to just know that God exists or that my friends say He's a good guy.  It's about being able to say I know God's character.  It is the understanding from time spent with Him {studying His Word, seeking His leadership daily and watching his responses} that He is constant and trustworthy and that his nature wouldn't allow Him to act any differently.  It's about knowing not just what He can do, but what makes Him tick--what makes Him happy and sad, what types of things are important to Him and that He actually cares about what happens with my life.  I know who He is.  And because I know who He is, I can trust him.

In Hebrew, that's called {yada}.  In the Bible, this word is used to describe the intimate relationship between a man and his wife--a kind of intimacy that you can't fabricate, that's deeper than any sort of head knowledge, and guess what else it's used to describe?  The intimacy God wants to have with us--the sort of knowledge He wants us to have of him.  The kind that knows that His character would not allow him to do anything other than seek our best interest and provide for us in the exact way that He knows is best.

To get a better understanding of what exactly that looks like, we're going to take a look at 3 friends from the Bible {we'll talk about one of them here and the other two in part III}: (1) a neighbors-think-he's-crazy shipwright, (2) a take-life-into-your-own-hands hopeless romantic (of sorts) and (3) a prostitute {huh? yeah, just hang in there with me}.

The Shipwright:  Noah

There once was this ordinary man named Noah.  (awesome story, huh?)  As far as we can tell, there was nothing spectacular about him except this--in a world full of self-indulgence and idol worship, he was a lone believer and follower of the one, true God.  Yes, he may have seemed rather ordinary, but this man was different.  

One day, God got super fed up with all of the people on earth acting like all that was important in life was their own comfort and pleasure.  They didn't respect God, they didn't care to serve him and they didn't even treat each other kindly.  He decided that things had just gotten so bad that he needed to wipe the slate clean and start over.  But because He knew his people, He was able to single out Noah as one who had been faithful to Him.  God told Noah exactly what to do--build an ark and prepare for a flood.  He gave Noah dimensions and told him what and whom he was to bring into the ark.  And the Bible tells us that "Noah did exactly as God had commanded him."

Alright, so remember, this is WAY back in the day.  There was no Home Depot for Noah to go to for all his supplies.  In fact, there weren't even any chainsaws with which to cut down the trees, nor were there any giant cranes to lift stuff up into place.  History tells us that it took Noah 100-120 years...120 YEARS, people...to build this ark.  Oh, did I forget to mention that until the time of the flood, no one had ever even heard of this thing called "rain"?

So here we have this man...he's 500 years old.  He's in his backyard for 100 years building this giant boat in preparation for this thing that no one has ever even heard of.  Yeah.  Either you have to be totally insane {which would clearly be the case if he were just doing this on his own with no direction from God} or totally, 100% secure in your knowledge {that is, your yada} of God that you are willing to look like a complete weirdo for over 100 years because you know in your heart that even though you can't see it all right now, God has a huge plan in mind and your obedience is needed.  That's some kind of trust.

Noah didn't complain.  He didn't ask God if he was sure if that's what He really wanted.  He didn't stop building just because people didn't understand him or because he couldn't really even understand it all himself.  He just did what God asked him to do.  Why?  Because he (as the Bible tells us) "walked faithfully with God."  He was with God every day.  He knew what God expected.  He had seen God's actions, but more importantly, he knew God's character of faithfulness.  Because he knew his character, he knew he could trust God's plan, even if it seemed crazy and impossible and even if he didn't understand it.  

You can understand that, right?  If you're married or even if you have a very best friend, you understand that there is just something about your relationship that allows you to trust them, something that, when they call in the middle of the night and ask you to be there, you just go and figure you'll ask questions later, if at all.  You trust them not only because you've heard about some isolated awesome things they have done, but because you have experienced life with them.  You don't have to take time to think about whether you should respond when they call.  Because you know them, you trust them and you go.  That is what God wants.  That is the relationship Noah had with God.


Tune in next time, where I'll wrap this whole thing up.  (And I promise it won't take quite so long for part III to come out.)   

P.S.  Just for fun, if anyone can guess who the last two people are/where their stories are found, I'll send you something.  Leave me a little comment here with your name.

{yada, yada, yada} {part I}

Alright, y'all.  This is a long one (so long, in fact, that I'm breaking it up into 3 parts), but just stick with me.

I've been challenged lately and today, I'm taking you with me on this journey.  Our Bible class has been doing a topical study of this book called "Not a Fan" and our minister has been doing some fantastic sermons lately about faith and trusting God and learning more about His character, and it's sort of crazy how it's all been fitting together, so this is a summary of those teachings as well as my thoughts on all of it.  {So no one things I'm stealing, shout-outs to Russell Carr and Dave Yasko--neither of whom actually reads my blog :) --for many of the questions and analogies I'll be sharing.}  Ready?  Alrighty, let's go.

PART I:

Let's talk a little about faith.  Yep.  I know.  You already know what faith is.  You've heard it your whole life.  You know you have to have it to understand why Christians believe what they do.  But do you really know what it means to have faith?  I thought I did.  But I was wrong.  So let's talk.

We are given a clear definition of faith in the letter to the Hebrews.

{Now FAITH is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.}

Okay, that's all well and good.  But, let's go real talk here--I'm a lawyer.  When I see a statement like that, the first thing that comes to my mind is "...but how?"  But how am I supposed to be sure of something that I can't envision and certain of something that seems unrealistic or infeasible to me?

My whole life, I have been taught to believe that God will provide.  I have read it in my Bible and I have heard it in my Sunday School lessons and in church service.  And you know what?  I do believe that.  But sometimes, if I were to take a step back and examine what my life looks like from the outside, I can't honestly say that I've always lived that out.  {a little talk about head knowledge vs. heart knowledge coming up} I complain about the stage of life I'm in.  I fear that things won't turn out the way that I envisioned them.  I get frustrated when I don't see what's coming up next.  I simply often fail to trust God with the future.

Fortunately, God always has a way of giving me an encouraging word or gentle nudge to remind me that I am supposed to trust him, so I snap out of my rut and repeat to myself that He will provide. Out of obedience, I pray for wisdom and patience then push all the negative thoughts out and choose to just ignore them for the time being.  Sometimes I go back and read my old journal entries to see how God has provided for me in the past and get re-energized by that reminder.  And until recently, I thought that was enough.  I thought that was faith--being able to look at God's actions in the past and then push the negative out and just decide to believe in Him based on what I've seen.  There are two {well, probably more} major problems with that method, though.*  (1) Living only off of head knowledge about God's past actions usually doesn't stick.  Every time a situation arises in which God is calling me to be in a different place than I expected or to be willing to be content where I am and trust Him for my future, I have to go through the whole process all over again--sadness, denial, frustration, hear an encouraging scripture/read an old journal entry, push the thoughts out, move on.  And what do you do when there is no past example that's similar to what you're struggling with right now?   And (2) God is so much bigger than just what I have been able to see in my past or even in the {relatively} few stories captured in the Bible.  Surely this is not all that God wants from us.  Surely He didn't give up Jesus for us so that we could just choose him in our heads but not our hearts.  Right?  He wants obedience, yes, but He also wants us to learn to trust Him because of who He is {through knowing his character--I call that "heart knowledge"} and not just what He has done {that's what I call "head knowledge"}. 

Here's what I'm learning--Faith isn't something you can just force yourself to have.  It's not something you can will yourself to have.  It's not something you can just turn on when you need it.  Faith is based in something so much deeper and to have true heart knowledge of what it means to live by faith, we have to learn more about where it comes from--we have to go to the Source.  To be able to answer the questions "How am I supposed to be sure of something that I can't envision and certain of something that seems unrealistic or infeasible to me?" we have to get to know the One in charge, and not just know of Him.

Tune in for Part II coming up soon.

*Caveat: You'll see as you read through the remaining parts of this series that I do find it highly valuable to learn about and remind yourself of God's work throughout your life and throughout history--they are very important and integral ways of getting to know God.  But my point here is that simply knowing the facts alone is not enough.  Yes, faith involves knowing facts about God and it also involves a decision to trust him.  But, most importantly, growing your faith involves getting to know the character of God so that your decision comes from the inside out.  Hey, I told you this was going to be a journey...just stick with me.  Mmmk?

{joy-filled and disciplined}

"Being joy filled does not mean that your life is perfect. 

It means that you emphatically trust God and believe he has great plans for your life, 

regardless of what is happening right now. 

Joy is an outward sign of inward faith in the promises of God."

{Tommy Newberry, The 4:8 Principle}

I have been in sort of a rut lately--feeling this yearning to have a joy-filled heart, yet feeling like I am constantly falling short.  What I love about God, though, is that He is always watching over each of us--he knows exactly what we're struggling with and what's going on in our hearts.  He has been providing me with multiple sources of inspiration with regard to this very topic.  One of those sources is a book called "The 4:8 Principle" by Tommy Newberry.  Its premise is that the essential foundation to experiencing joy in Christ comes from filling our minds with things from above--the thoughts that focus on God and his character--the things that Paul describes in Philippians 4:8.

Finally, brethren, 

whatsoever things are true, 

whatsoever things are honest, 

whatsoever things are just, 

whatsoever things are pure, 

whatsoever things are lovely, 

whatsoever things are of good report, 

if there be any virtue, 

if there be any praise, 

think on these things.

{Philippians 4:8}

It seems so easy in today's society to be distracted by all of the things flying at us--news, celebrities, television shows, movies, magazines, spicy books, facebook, twitter, instagram, blogs, phones, work, and radio.  Those things may make us happy for a moment, but they do not give us joy.  Joy--real, true, heartfelt joy--can come only from God.  But if we never take the time to develop, as Tommy Newberry says, our "inward faith in the promises of God" then how could we possibly expect to experience joy?  

There is so much coming at us all day long that sometimes it gets very difficult to make a conscious effort to filter what we see, hear, do, say and ultimately, retain in our minds.  Everyone expects us to react quickly, to stay up to date on all the news and latest music and movies, to arrive faster than the time that our GPS tells us it will take to get there {the never-ending fight against time, right? In my business, the motto is "time is money"}...you get the idea.  But what God wants from us is stillness, peace, focus and discipline--time focused on Him--those are the practices that will allow us to experience joy that can only come from getting to know Him as our father, savior and friend.  

In our Bible class newsletter each week, we have a little section called "Family Minute" where we get a short devotional to think on.  This week, it was centered around a quote by Tim Kizziar.  

“Our greatest fear as individuals and as a church 

should not be of failure 

but of succeeding at things in life that don't really matter.”  

Mark Merrill {the writer of this little devotional} said this:  "Is there anything worse than giving something all you’ve got when, in the end, it amounts to nothing?  Determining where to invest your time and energy can be tough.  Be sure to limit the time you spend on things in life that don’t really matter in the end."

I believe this includes our thought life too.  Investing our time thinking on things that are not glorifying to God ultimately results in us wasting precious time that God wants us to be using for the building of his kingdom.  And wasting time is a surefire way to strip joy {true, lasting, from-the-heart joy} from our lives.  

I know for a fact that there are a lot of things I spend my allotted 24 hours each day on that really could be sacrificed so that I can learn more about God and achieve a more joy-filled heart.  So I think this week I'll be focusing on assessing my daily life in a really practical way--what are the things I spend my time on that I can choose to lay down so that I can gain something far greater?  What about you?  What are some things that, while they make you happy, you can choose to sacrifice in order to attain a closer relationship with God and a more joy-filled life?

{would you be arrested?}

I just love our Sunday School class at church.  There are so many people in our class who inspire me and encourage me and challenge me.  Recently, one of the guys was leading class and he asked the question "If there was a law passed in our country that forbade Christianity, would anyone arrest you based on the way you live?"

Wow.

Talk about making you think.

As believers, we are called to live a life worthy of our calling--to be bold and to take the good news of Jesus Christ to the world.  That's our main purpose here on Earth--to share his love and to make Him known to others.  Somehow, though, I think that the meaning of being a Christian has been horribly distorted.  Many people claim to be Christians, yet they believe it to just be a private matter, one that they "hold in their heart" but don't really want to share with others because after all, we wouldn't want to impose our beliefs on anyone, right?

Wrong, friends.  Sharing should be the core of every believer's daily walk.  (Imposing, no.  Sharing, yes.)  Now, I will be the first to admit that I am NOT as bold as I would like to be.  I am not as fearless about sharing the gospel as I would like to be.  I honestly can say that I know that my life does not always reflect the beauty of my Savior.  Would someone know to arrest me if Christianity were made illegal?  I certainly would hope so, but...would they?

When I was in college and doing evangelism training, our motto was "first time, every time" meaning that every time you meet someone new, you want to make sure that they are able to experience your love for Jesus the very first time you meet them.  That doesn't necessarily mean, of course, that you have to preach the entire story of the Bible to them the first time you ever talk, but what it does mean is that they would leave you knowing that Christ is your first love and hopefully they'll want to know more.  Do I do that?  Do I make my love for Christ known every single time I encounter someone?

What I'm not saying is that we need to be out on street corners shouting into microphones or telling people that they're going to Hell because of their life choices or looking down on those who don't yet know Jesus--none of us saved ourselves, remember.  Jesus approached people with love and compassion and patience, never forcing anyone to love Him, but gently guiding them to himself by speaking truth and being a true friend.  I believe that different situations call for different approaches to sharing your love for Christ--that you have to be aware of your audience and that spitting off Bible verse after Bible verse to someone who just needs to cry or just needs you to listen for a moment is not always the best approach.  (Sometimes people just need to have someone listen to them.)  But I will say that there is a way to make Christ known to people in every situation, to share truth and wisdom without being obnoxious or judgmental, and that is what God calls us to do.

This week, I'm going to be looking at my life with a more critical eye--praying that God will use his Holy Spirit to show me how I can make Him more known through my interactions with others.  We've only got a few days here (in the light of how long eternity is), and I want the people I encounter to know what a joy and peace it is to get to be free, and some day to be right there in heaven together, praising God all the day long. I hope you'll join me.

{whom are you trying to please?}

I was reading through one of my daily devotionals the other day, and I was reminded of this scripture:

"For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ."

{Galatians 1:10}

I love Paul's letter to the Galatians.  It is so raw and so honest.  It's like he's saying to them, "You idiots, have you completely forgotten everything we've talked about?  There you go again, trying to do things with your own power, thereby diminishing everything that Christ did for you. Wake up, fools!" {or you know, something to that effect} He wants them to remember what they're living for--what their purpose is and what has been sacrificed for them.  

I feel like Paul's letter could just as easily be addressed to many of us {believers} today.  We live in a society that tells us we "get what we deserve" and that "if it's going to be, it's up to me."  We live in a society that emphasizes trying to be the best, own the best, do the best.  Yet, what measures are we using?  {see this article for an insightful look into how we measure success}

Our pastor gave a powerful sermon yesterday about how no matter what we own, what job we have, what car we drive, how perfectly we respond to people, etc., we will still face rejection from people.  It's just natural.  Even the most perfect individual who has ever existed was just downright hated by some people.  It didn't matter that he was the most loving, kind, patient and honest person to ever exist.  

So then, what are we working for?  What measures can we possibly use to determine our success in life if we know that people will always reject us in some way or another, no matter what we do?  Paul tells us that the answer is really very simple.  We have to just stop trying to please man.  

Here's the thing...there will come a day for each and every one of us, whether we're ready for it or not, in which we will no longer be a part of this earth.  We will pass on and there will be no moments left for people to judge us or accept us or reject us.  So if that's the case {and we all know it is}, we have to be willing to let ourselves remember that there will be a day when all of those things no longer matter--we have to be willing to believe that there is something greater and more worthy of our time than simply working hard to earn accolades and praise from people who, too, will vanish from the earth.  

I don't know if those of you reading this are already followers of Christ, but if you aren't, let me tell you something--while I can't hold him in my hands nor show you his face, I know that there is a God who loves me.  I know that he is so great that even though I rejected him and told him that there were other things more important to me than serving him, he decided to love me anyway.  He decided that I was valuable enough that he would give up a part of himself that was SO precious to him {Jesus} just so that I could have the chance to come into his presence for eternity.  And then, as a parent must do sometimes, he left the choice up to me of whether to accept it or not.  You have that same choice--you are completely allowed to tell God that you would prefer not to accept the gift, that you'd prefer not to spend eternity with Him.  Of course God will be sad because he loves his children, but that is a choice he leaves up to you.  You can also choose to say yes.  You can choose to accept his gift and inherit his kingdom.  The choice is yours.  No one will ever tell you that living a life as a believer is easy, but let's be real...living a life not as a believer is hard too.  The difference is that as a believer, you have a power behind you that's bigger than just you--bigger than any power that any person here on earth could have.  

So if you're finding yourself in a place where comparison and the need to achieve and please those around you is getting to be overwhelming, remember the words of the One who created you--"Never will I leave you, never will I forsake you."  You've got the option to have someone in your life who loves you and accepts you unconditionally and who will never leave you--and He's the one you could spend eternity with {I like the idea of being accepted for all eternity!}.  And if you ever just want to talk about it, you know where to find me.  :)

Happy Monday, all.

{grace}

This sign is in the entrance of the parking garage where I park for work.

It is a familiar verse in the Bible that reads "For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith —and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God—not by works, so that no one can boast. "  {Ephesians 2:8-9} What exactly is grace, though?  What does it mean that we've been "saved by grace"?  


This sign in my parking garage made me revisit in my mind the foundation of what my faith--and that of all Christian believers--is built on.  Grace.  This sign is a beautiful representation of what God has given to us through Jesus Christ.  As you can see, this sign lists out all sorts of prices.  If you're in the parking garage for 3+ hours, you pay $12.00.  If you are in the garage between 2 hours and one minute and 3 hours, you pay $9.00 and so on.  You then see at the top of the sign that if you are in the parking garage for anywhere between zero (meaning, you just drive in and drive right back out) and 10 minutes, you have what they call "grace."  The sign shows us that the use of the garage comes at a cost.  But for the first 10 minutes, they are essentially saying that even though you drive in, they will give you a gift--they will allow you to not pay what you would otherwise owe.  They will give you "grace."  


Now, obviously this is not a perfect analogy, but the symbolism is beautiful.  You choose to do something that comes at a cost {drive into a garage that you don't own}.  But even though you owe this cost, by choosing to leave, you get grace--you don't have to pay.  The owner of the garage essentially pays that cost for you.  You have done nothing to earn this gift--you still drove into the garage like everyone else--the owner is just doing something nice for you.  This is very much like becoming a Christian.  We are sinful.  We do things that make God sad--things that He has told us not to do.  And those things come at a cost.  The cost is being separated from God and not getting to enjoy the fullness of life that He can give us.  But if we choose to leave that life, rather than stay in it, God will give us grace.  We no longer have to pay.  He, through Jesus Christ, pays that cost for us and we get to live with Him. We can't do anything to earn it {we drove into the garage--we chose to sin} but He loves us and has paid the cost for us if we just choose to "drive out" {repent and accept Jesus}.  


Like I said before, even though this isn't a perfect analogy, I just love it when things I see in everyday life make me stop and think about God's goodness and what his sacrifice of Jesus means.  I hope that if you haven't accepted Christ, you'll think about how neat of a concept it is that someone would be willing to pay your costs for you so that you can live for eternity with someone who created you, who loves you more than you can ever understand and who wants to give you an inheritance that you could never even fathom.  If you're already a believer, I hope that you will make an effort to remember everyday how special the gift is that we've been given.  

{Wednesday Wrap-Up: being bold}

Wednesday Wrap-Up:  A Mid-Week Refresher to Help Us Make It Through the Rest of the Week
{a new weekly post I'm creating on the blog to help myself, and hopefully you too, keep my mind focused and my heart set on the right goals by reviewing something I've learned about God this week, a wrap-up of my week's studies, if you will}

This Week:  Daniel
Our Bible class studied Daniel last week.  I just love Daniel's story (which, as I didn't really know until I was an adult, is much more than just the story of him being thrown in the den of lions).  I'm pretty sure that if you spent any sort of time in church as a kid, though, you know at least the most popular story of Daniel life--he was thrown into a den of lions and he survived.  Amazing!  What (again) I don't think I realized until I was an adult was what made this victory so special.

Daniel was a different sort of man.  He was exceptional at his job and therefore favored by the King.  Because of this, Daniel's peers were VERY jealous.  They decided to devise a plan to hurt Daniel.  The only problem was that Daniel was such a good guy that they couldn't find a single thing to tell the King about that would get Daniel in trouble.  (Talk about a role model!)  There was only one way they could figure out to mess with Daniel. They knew that every single day, Daniel prayed to God three times a day.  So they decided that they would go to the King and flatter him and convince him to pass an irrevocable law that disallowed anybody but the King from praying to God.   Well of course, Daniel was so dedicated to God that he just kept on praying.  Daniel's peers (the ones who set him up) went to the King and tattled on him and swiftly reminded the King that the there was absolutely no way he could revoke the law he had passed.  The King really didn't want to have to throw Daniel into the den of lions (remember, the King really liked Daniel), but there was no way under the law to revoke his decree. So the King was forced to go through with the punishment.  

{An aside: Let me remind you...we're not talking about sweet, little Simba here.  We're talking about real, live, ferocious animals.  Male lions, at full adult size, can weigh over 550 lbs.  550 POUNDS!!! Whoa.}

Terrifying. (beautiful, but terrifying)

WHAT?!  That's a whole lotta animal.

Daniel was gathered up and taken to what his peers thought would be his death.  But Daniel knew better.  He knew that because of God's faithfulness, God would deliver him.  And the King hoped for this result too.  The King went back to his palace.  He was so distraught, he couldn't even eat or sleep.  The next morning, the King ran over to the den and called for Daniel.  Would you believe that Daniel answered back, affirming that he was totally okay?!  The story tells us that when Daniel was lifted from the den, no wound was found on him, because he had trusted in his God.  


There's so much to be learned from Daniel.  His story is so special because it's not just a story about some guy surviving being thrown into a den full of lions, with no way to escape.  It's indeed a story about God's character.  It reminds us that God LOVES it when we choose Him over everything else, when we do what is right despite what the rest of the world is doing.  And He is so faithful.  I cannot begin to imagine the emotion Daniel must have been feeling, walking into that den.  But Daniel was able to walk into that den (and to daily choose God over everything else, for that matter) because he knew God's character.  


Likewise, God saw Daniel's faithfulness--He knows us.  God saw everything that Daniel was doing in his life and He rewarded him for it.  It's a great reminder that even when we feel like no one else sees what we do, it's okay--God sees, but also a reminder that in the end, our salvation (from lions, from being separated from Him) comes from His power and His grace.  God appreciated Daniel's faithfulness, but in that final moment, when the stone was rolled over the opening to the den, there was nothing else Daniel could do.  The only thing that could save Daniel was God's intervention.  And that's how it is with us, too.  It is very important to be obedient and choose God daily (we're called to do so)--God sees us when we make daily choices to be faithful to Him and He rewards us for that, but in the end, it is not those actions that save us--indeed, there is absolutely nothing that we can do to earn our salvation.  All we can do is place ourselves in His hands (through Jesus) and trust that He will deliver us.  

So this week, I am actively trying to remember God's character--His faithfulness and His love for His children--and letting that truth lead me toward choosing Him over everything else.  I hope you will too.

{to know}

It's a rainy day in Houston today.  The sky is grey and the whole city seems to be moving a little slower.

Most people think I'm crazy for this, but my favorite kinds of days are cold, dreary, grey and rainy days.  (I sort of blame it on the three years I spent in Chicago, during which time I probably just started liking grey days as a coping mechanism so I wouldn't go crazy.)  There's something comforting about the rain.  It has a way of slowing the world down a bit.  Since it's a part of life that no one can control, it affects everyone equally.  The drive into work is a little shower and everyone's moods seem to be a little calmer.  The rain melts away the typically frazzled demeanor I carry and replaces it with one that's somehow more patient and more gentle and more kind.

The rain reminds me that our amazing Creator is and will always be in control of the universe.  It reminds me of the story of Noah--a story from which I draw two reminders about God's character:  (1)  God is so powerful.  He is able, with a single swipe of his hand, to destroy the Earth if he wants.  Yet (2)  He is also merciful to spare those who seek Him.  He saw Noah's heart and, as Noah's Father, knew that Noah loved Him.   

It's human nature for parents to often feel disconnected from their children, especially parents with teenagers (oh yes, I remember being a teenager and wanting to be independent and not share things with my parents).  Parents may know what activities their children are involved in and what their favorite color is, but they often are limited in their ability to know their children's hearts, their desires, their struggles and their victories.  It's simply human nature.  Even in the best of parent-child relationships, there is only so much of a person's life that another person can truly understand.  But God knows us.

{For you created my inmost being; 

   you knit me together in my mother’s womb.}

Psalm 139:13

He is able to break that boundary of communication that is otherwise limited by our humanness.  He knows even our inmost being because He created it.  Today, on this dark and dreary day, I seek to know more of God's character.  I, like Noah, am only a simple and unworthy creature, living at the mercy of my mighty and powerful Father.  But He knows me.  He cares about my life and my future, because He created me in his image.  And, as his child, He cares whether I make it out of the flood alive.  No, there will never be another literal flood of the whole Earth--God promised us that.  But everyday, we are surrounded by sin and evil, just like Noah was, and that same sin and evil destroys people everyday just like it did in the Old Testament.   God didn't destroy those people because he didn't like the color of their skin or the accent they carried.  He destroyed them because they chose sin.  Everyday we have the chance to choose God and to help bring others with us to His kingdom.  Noah chose to be faithful and God rewarded him by allowing him to make it out of the flood alive.  What will you choose today?

{He Sees. He is Mighty}

There are days when I sit at my desk, in my big beautiful office that's my very own, in this big beautiful building in the middle of the big city and I wonder...what am I doing here?  Some days, I sit in my office, making very little contact with my co-workers, simply staring at documents, trying to make sense not only of what I'm reading, but also of what role this whole thing will play in God's plan.  I wonder if I'm actually affecting anyone's life.  I wonder why God chose to put me here, rather than half-way across the world, loving on some sweet, hungry (both physically and spiritually) babies in Africa or Russia or somewhere else, where my heart so often longs to be.

But here is what I know to be true:  God sees.  He is El Roi.  And God is mighty.  He is El Shaddai.

When my small eyes are unable to see God's greater plan and when my small mind is unable to comprehend how He could use me--an imperfect, simple, always-messing-up person--in this place, the Holy Spirit reminds me that God is in control and His hand is in everything.  I am reminded that it is an honor to serve Him, and not a right--He is mighty enough to not use me if He doesn't want to.  I am reminded that although my heart may long to be doing something that looks more like what I think I should be doing, my purpose here on Earth is only to glorify him, to serve him and to be present, wherever I am--wherever He has placed me.

You may be sitting there today wondering how it is that God could use you, wherever you are.  If that's you, I encourage you to remember who God is.  Remember that He is the God whose angel went to be by Hagar's side when she felt all alone and confused and lost and unable to understand what was happening to her {See Genesis 16}.  He sees you.  He knows you.  And He made you to be exactly who you are.  Because He made you, he knows exactly how your gifts will be best used.  Remember that He is the God who was mighty enough to know that his Son could overcome the great equalizer--death itself.  And that God is with you every single day.

I still don't have a clear answer to my question.  But with each day, I'm learning to just be present and be still.  He sees and He is mighty.  And that's all I need to know.

{because sometimes we have to be reminded that we are children of light}

Some days I am just blown away.

Adrian and I have been dating/engaged for about four and a half years. Throughout those years, there have been various times when I just have to pause. I pause because those are the moments in which I begin to understand why God created relationships between a man and a woman. I am convinced that God uses our partners as a way to give us faint glimpses of how much He loves us and to reveal to us truths about His character. Two nights ago, I had one of those moments.

For anyone who knows me, you know that I am a very sensitive person. I take everything personally and I have this innate desire to please. But, just like every other human being, I make a lot of mistakes. The problem with having a sensitive heart is that sometimes it's difficult for those who love me to correct me, because they don't want to hurt my feelings. While he may not realize it, over the years, Adrian has developed a unique ability to lovingly demonstrate to me when I am in need of correction. I cannot fully describe it, but he has a way of leading by example that lets me realize on my own that I am in error, without making me feel condemned or judged. It is truly a gift of God.

So, two nights ago, we had a situation in which I was being very hard on someone we love. I was making snap judgments about the situation this person was in, without being willing to consider all aspects of the situation. The truth is, I was being judgmental and not very gracious. It was in this moment that the Lord used Adrian to call me back to Him. In his sweet, patient way, Adrian lovingly defended this person, describing how even though he knows this person has made mistakes in the past, he has chosen to love him and be patient with him and hear about the whole situation before making any decisions on how to proceed in giving our friend advice. He never had to tell me I was wrong. He never had to speak roughly to me to make me realize I was being a jerk. All he had to do was let God's love and patience work through Him. It is this willing heart that has allowed our relationship to flourish and allowed Adrian's walk with Christ to grow over the years. I am blown away.

In this moment, I am thankful for God's love. I am thankful that He knew each one us before we even made an appearance on this earth. I am thankful that He teaches each of us differently, according to the way in which He has made us.

In Paul's letter to the Church at Ephesus, Paul reminds us that God has called us to treat our fellow brothers and sisters in a certain way. He says:

{Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.}

He also reminds us that we are to...

{Be kind and compassionate to one another...}

He not only reminds us of these commands, but he also explains why God has given us these commands.

{For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Live as children of light.}

So today, I am humbled. I am thankful that God cares enough about me to love me and rebuke me in a very specific kind of way. And today, I will choose to live as a child of light, being patient, gentle, and compassionate, because that's how God chooses to be with me. Praise Him.